Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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