Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
