we're blogging at a bar
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.