ADVERTISEMENT

• (830): View more from Texas

  If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice

  Fav 37 4175 1187

  share tweet
  

• (101): View more from

  Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?

  Fav 23 3497 935

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (269): View more from Michigan

  sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.

  Fav 16 3368 1604

  share tweet
  

• (858): View more from California

  last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"

  Fav 42 6350 1118

  share tweet
  
• 

  25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (205): View more from Alabama

  After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.

  Fav 20 5221 1580

  share tweet
  

• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night

  Fav 4 3161 1038

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Cute underage boy is in my house.

  (410): View more from Maryland

  OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.

  Fav 13 1991 847

  share tweet
  

• (208): View more from Idaho

  That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.

  Fav 9 1308 804

  share tweet
  

• (714): View more from California

  Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.

  Fav 5 877 1584

  share tweet
  
• 

  25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (562): View more from California

  Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.

  Fav 4 1000 704

  share tweet
  

• (360): View more from Washington

  The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...

  Fav 0 711 307

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.

  Fav 3 492 1337

  share tweet
  

• (516): View more from New York

  If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.

  Fav 1 664 332

  share tweet
  

• (909): View more from California

  I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.

  Fav 1 134 54

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (520): View more from Arizona

  My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.

  Fav 1 111 9

  share tweet
  

Randomize