we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
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koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
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We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.