I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
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