i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head