i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
