Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
