I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
