I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
My feet surprised me
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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