Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
