trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I wear drunk well.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
