you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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