I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize