Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
