Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize