I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
