They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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