Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
