Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
