we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
