I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
