He is such a slut. More and more my type.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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