he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
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