the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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