If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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