she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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