just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
We need to rekindle our bromance
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
