so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize
