you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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