well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
