chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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