So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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