matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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