I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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