I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
That's how pantless uber rides happen
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
