problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
