What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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