He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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