got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
