So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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