the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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