Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
God I need to hump something, right now.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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