Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
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Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
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In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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