I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize