i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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