Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
she looked like the before picture.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I could fuck to npr.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
