make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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