Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
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