I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Randomize