so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
