He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
