I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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