Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Only a mothe r could love this liver
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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