You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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