Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
