she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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