What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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